At Empowered Divorce Coaching and Mediation, we understand that separation and divorce can be one of the most emotionally charged transitions a family will ever face. Amidst the stress of legal procedures and life adjustments, it’s easy to lose sight of the most important stakeholder: your child.
That’s why Nikki Duchenne, experienced divorce coach and mediator, champions the importance of the Voice of the Child—an approach rooted not just in empathy, but in South African law.
What Is the Voice of the Child?
The Voice of the Child refers to the right of children to be heard when major decisions are made that directly affect their lives—particularly during divorce, custody arrangements, relocation, schooling, or healthcare choices.
This isn’t just a best-practice recommendation—it is embedded in South Africa’s Children’s Act 38 of 2005, particularly:
- Section 7 – Best Interests of the Child
- Section 31 – Major Decisions
- Section 18(3)(c) – Guardianship Decisions
These legal provisions make it clear: parents and legal guardians have a duty to consider their child’s views before making decisions with long-term consequences.
The Legal Framework: A Simple Visual Guide
To help you understand the legal obligations around involving your child, we recommend viewing the flowchart below (produced by Think Legal). This visual tool outlines the steps that must be taken before making a guardianship or major decision:
- Applying for a passport
- Relocating with the child
- Changing schools or healthcare providers
- Drafting a will that affects guardianship or care
- If a decision is not in the child’s best interests, it must stop.
- If a decision is major or affects a child’s life significantly, the child’s views must be considered.
- Legal consent from the other parent or a court order may be required.
Why Listening to Your Child Is So Important
Children often internalise the conflict of divorce, feeling unheard, confused, or even responsible for what’s happening. Giving them a safe, age-appropriate space to express their views can:
- Reduce anxiety and emotional trauma
- Strengthen their trust in both parents
- Improve long-term co-parenting outcomes
- Lead to more practical and sustainable parenting agreements
At Empowered Divorce, we use a child-centred approach rooted in compassion and communication. We help families:
- Facilitate child-inclusive mediation (in line with Section 31(1)(b)(i))
- Consider age-appropriate feedback from children without putting pressure on them
- Balance the emotional and legal aspects of family restructuring
Nikki Duchenne’s Approach to Child-Inclusive Mediation
As a certified divorce coach and mediator, Nikki Duchenne guides separating parents through difficult conversations with clarity, neutrality, and care.
“Parents often ask me, ‘How do I protect my child during this process?’ The answer isn’t just in legal compliance—it’s in truly listening to what your child is trying to say, even when they don’t have the words.” — Nikki Duchenne
Through her coaching and mediation sessions, Nikki:
- Helps parents frame decisions around the child’s best interests
- Uses tools and exercises to give children a voice in a respectful, non-confrontational way
- Supports parents to co-create parenting plans that reflect the whole family’s needs
Final Thoughts: Your Child Deserves to Be Heard
Navigating separation doesn’t have to mean conflict and confusion. With the right support, empathy, and legal guidance, you can create a future that honours your child’s emotional wellbeing and legal rights.
Let Nikki Duchenne at Empowered Divorce Coaching and Mediation help you make empowered, informed decisions—because your child’s voice matters.